Here I Am

O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
— Psalm 139:1-6, NLT


A few weeks ago, I tried to strategically map out my travels throughout the States. I figured every city Julie and I were visiting had a unique purpose, and I wanted vision from God for how I could approach each trip so that we would capitalize on our time and yield high productivity.

The pressure that comes with pioneering a ministry was weighing on my shoulders.

As I sat down to map out a city-by-city plan, God spoke softly to my heart. "Why are you doing this? There's no need. Why not just spend time investing in your relationship with Me?" Right then and there, I dropped my pen and closed my journal.

Sometimes God tells us to do things that don't make sense.

He sees me when I travel. He knows me in ways I'll never understand, and He loves me more than I could ever dream. My intentions were good, but they weren't aligned with what He was calling me to do in this season.

We often assume that the right intention is the will of God. But He may be telling us to do something completely contrary to what we think we're supposed to be doing. Sit on that for a second.

Are there any aspects of your life in which you think or act like YOU are in control? Do you justify it? Does your culture say it's OK? Be real with yourself now.

Oftentimes I feel irresponsible, but God has been faithful in showing me where I'm adopting my cultures ways instead of His Kingdom's. I'm reminded of what a life of submission to God looks like by the story of Abraham. Imagine being called to sacrifice your child. Your ONLY beloved child. "Abraham, Abraham," called God. And because Abraham lived a life of obedience and submission to his Creator, he responded immediately. "Here I am."

Abraham was willing to lay it all down.

You see, obedience and submission are the opposite of control. And as control is always rooted in fear, it is the opposite of faith. We, friends, have been called to a faith walk — to a life of trusting that God is with us and for us, always.

Indeed each American city we've visited has been unique, and God has proved, time and time again, that He is with us. He's even gone before us and will go after us! He runs the schedule, not us. We're simply called to lives marked by obedience, submission, faith.